By Damien Ferguson
Probably one of the most asked questions and one of the most pivotal and scary times in ones life is awakening. Many ask what is an awakening like, how was your awakening, how can i have one, and how do I know when mine was? The last question is rather simple. If you do not know, then you did not have one. Of course not everyone has an awakening moment. Some are as they say, born awake.
Onto the other questions you impatient readers you! Having an awakening, well you really either have one or you do not. You may be someone who will have one, but it is highly frowned upon for someone to awaken another on purpose. It normally comes when one is ready. One of those it will happen when it happens/time is right type things. I know I know, the lack of control over that can be scary! But that is life, better get used to it now :).
Awakening has similarities between people but each one is unique to said individual. An awakening to a world you were told was not real. It takes its toll mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually on a person. Of course each of us is stronger and weaker in different areas and parts of those areas which is what leads to it being different for everyone. I will ramble on a bit more about what awakening is like then share my awakening story for you! Ill try and make it witty, funny and still truthful so keep reading the information until you come to that!
Awakening has been described as something similar to puberty. The term itself I believe was coined by Bellanger in the early 90s. Although its history is not that important, as it was going on well before the term was coined. What it was called before is also not really important(unless you love history like I do!). Now, we all remember what puberty was like, well this can be like that increased up even higher. Although awakening for different kinds of vamps and kin is all similar in certain aspects it is unique in the type you are awakening to as well. For this article we will be focusing on a sang awakening! Yes i realize this being posted could lead to people being able to “fake it better”. But even if they can type the talk, they will never be able to hide what they really are at the end of the day. Besides they will be wasting their life living a lie, so why do you care?
Anyways! It will start out, either you will wake up to it, or some
event or tragedy or meeting will happen and it will feel like something
has been opened inside of you. It may seem subtle for the first few
days. Your mind will be kind of numb, and everything may seem a bit out
of sync and like you are living in a different reality than what you
just were. Then senses may start changing, or heightening. Hearing
things at distances you couldn’t before. Small sounds you never noticed
before. Smells change, you may even start to notice the human odor we
have become so deadened to normally. Eyes may also change with things
you can see or distances. You may also be able to feel the air move when
someone enters a room and other similar affects with Feel. Then the
taste sense starts. Its subtle, you eat, but its not what you are
looking for. Nothing seems just right. Then the hunger grows stronger,
an urgency. Soon the hunger becomes something that consumes your
thoughts, wants, needs, desires. A hunger you have no idea how to fix.
Of course you may see a cut, or smell blood, or cut yourself. You will
most often times come into contact with blood at this point in the
awakening. The smell will be intoxicating, you will be glued to it. Of
course you know its wrong as you were taught. But it isn’t. You learn
the hunger can only be stopped with the taboo of blood drinking.
Of course during all of this your body also seems to be changing. The daytime may make you feel lethargic, give you headaches. Make you more agitated and grumpy. Then at night you come alive. Everything seems dialed up and you are simply awake. The night seems to call to you and you find yourself having issues sleeping. Your schedule flipflops without anyway to actually support it. Other physical things of course can change as well. You may start to heal faster, food may be needed less if you have blood. You may even see an increase in speed, agility or strength. Or all three.
Normally people come looking for answers at this time. In the past they would then become mentored by a Knowledgeable member of the VC/OVC. Yes even then some fell thru the cracks or never found the community or a mentor. But it was more rare then compared to now. Now the teaching aspect rarely happens. Of course, I hope to change that and am proud of those who do teach. You guys truly are the life of the community and keeping it thriving for the next generations.
Although that was just the basics of the first month or two of awakening and then hopefully finding a mentor and information to help you along after that. The future may hold more articles over the first two years of awakening. Awakening can take awhile, though it is common for 6 months to 2 years to be around the time it lasts. It could last less or longer depending on t he person.
Now onto the fun stuff! My awakening story yay! What everyone read this long article in anticipation for I am sure.
I remember it well and in truth doubt I will ever really forget it. I
was on vacation in Orlando Florida for a week. It was July and I was
16. Did the whole Disney world experience, shows, tourists activities
and whatnot. Like buying a sword from a random flea market thing. Cause
when you go to a place of happy animal suits you really should buy a
weapon just in case. Well here I was having some fun, taking in
shows..waiting in lines for two hours in a swamp that I am sure was
birthed from the bowels of hell itself…when during the week I was up
late listening and watching the ocean from the condos balcony. It was
around 3 am in the morning because well it was the only time it wasn’t
scorching hot and I wanted to enjoy it!
As I was on the balcony I felt an energy, a presence roll across the night and hit me. It hit me, stopped for a moment, and blew a door off its hinges in mind(I dont know if I should be mad or happy at whoever it was that did this, but I am sure you are still around down there!). The rest of the trip was a blur of tiredness, numbness and confusion. Upon returning home I still felt like I was out of reality and within a month I was using the ol’ dialup internet to look for answers. I stumbled across a vampire forum with people who had feelings, urges and went thru things like I did. I read and looked around for those around me. My mentor then found me shortly after. From there I learned what it was that was happening to me. How to deal with it, and various other things. In truth I probably owe my mentor my life even though she stepped into the shadows shortly after my teaching was complete. One of those people I will always owe for what they did for me when they could have done nothing at all. I was not the easiest of students. I was eager, hungry, and impatient. Also a fool. But she did it, and from there I ended up with a few others and finally into CGs hands who helped temper me into what I have become today! So you can thank or hate her for that I suppose haha!
I do hope you enjoyed the information and my story! Hopefully this can help some of those newly awakening and help them find the help they need!